She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize