I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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