the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
