i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
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Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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