is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
