Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
