Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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