I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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