But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
