i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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