called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
