im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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