whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
