if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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