You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
