so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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