he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
