I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
