I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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