i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How's work?
Spinning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
