I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
