Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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