can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
