bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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