I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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