im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
