i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
