Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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