I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
