Can Purell be used as lube?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
True strength comes from lack of pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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