Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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