Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
