will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he was CRYING into my vagina
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
