ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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