I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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