Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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