i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
