Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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