I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
