Cold hands, warm shart.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
