I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She needs sedatives and a leash
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
