I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
