I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
