4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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