In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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