i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
