I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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