two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.