her vagina looked like bernie madoff
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."