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• (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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• (650): View more from California

  I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it

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• (516): View more from New York

  the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.

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• (+46): View more from Sweden

  Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.

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• (707): View more from California

  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  All's fair in love and war. and tinder.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.

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