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• (415): View more from California

  Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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• (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.

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