Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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