dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
