Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
