I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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