that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His nipple licking is glorious
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