so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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