shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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