I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
as a side note pls kill me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize