its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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