i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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