Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
