i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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