Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, beer. Big fan.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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