Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
